Do Men Like the Chase?
Let's go back to 1995 when I, Jomo, pursued Charmaine during a time when the dynamics between men and women were much more different than they are today.
I was a college football student sitting at a park in Tallahassee, just enjoying the weather after my fall game. I had a lot of self-confidence back then, even though I was on crutches from my injured ankle. This pretty girl, Charmaine, walked by and I called out to her wanting to talk. She ignored me and continued walking because she wasn't sure if she wanted to accept any potentially unwanted attention from me.
I thought it was disrespectful of her to ignore me, so I went after her and tried speaking to her again while she was in her car, not aggressively but playfully. We chatted for a bit, but Charmaine wasn't looking for a relationship and also didn't like that I was a football player. I, frankly, thought she was rude because I wasn't used to rejection. So, at the end of the conversation, we parted ways without exchanging any phone numbers.
However, that very night, we came across each other at the same nightclub. Charmaine's friend liked one of my football friends and wanted to get with him, but I told her completely honestly that that friend was only interested in one-night stands instead of long-term relationships. Charmaine appreciated how honest I was even though it was about one of my good friends; this spurred her to give me her phone number but under the condition that I only call her when I was ready to settle down.
I was fine with this, but I realized that Charmaine was a challenge to me. This made me come to understand that although things came easily to me, I didn't respect them because they were easy. I appreciated Charmaine because she was a challenge.
One of the key aspects of a man pursuing/chasing is that he's looking for something. A king is looking for a queen – not someone he can easily get, but someone who can challenge him. If a woman easily gives herself to him, he may wonder how many men she gave herself to previously that made it so easy for her to give herself to him. In the end, he may feel dissatisfied by how quickly the sexual process happened regardless of how nice the woman was.
Most men don't respect things that come easily to them, and they're instinctively territorial. That's why a man doesn't want someone who's easy, because if she's easy for him then she's easy for every other guy.
So, to answer the question about whether men like the chase – I would say yes. A man chases because someone had to say no. Without a "no", there is no chase. Men love to receive attention from a woman, but if she flirts too hard then it makes him wonder what her angle is. If she makes it difficult, then he'll find himself wanting more.
That is why men should never stop chasing. Even after you're married, the chase is still going. This is important in keeping a relationship from becoming stale. It's a key aspect to chase your woman and for your woman to allow you to chase her.
