How To Know You're On The Road To Divorce
Harsh Startups
The way you start a conversation when addressing issues and conflicts is very likely the way your marriage will end. 96% of the time, you can predict the outcome of a discussion based on the first 3 minutes of the conversation. So, if you start off badly, you'll end badly. Get your partner to a place where they're relaxed and ready to receive the conversation. Don't come into the conversation with bad body language or negative speech. Doing so will make your partner less likely to receive what you're saying and more likely to push you away.
The Four Horsemen
The four horsemen of a relationship are all indicators that you're on the road to divorce. They include:
Criticism: frequently making negative or insulting comments about your partner.
Contempt: being disrespectful of your partner's opinions and treating them with disdain.
Defensiveness: being unable to communicate without acting as if you're always being attacked.
Stonewalling: treating your partner like a brick wall and not wanting to hear anything they say.
Flooding
You don't stop. You just keep coming at them, whether it's physically, verbally, or emotionally, and your partner feels like they're being suffocated and overwhelmed by you. Be mindful that there's a balance to relationships, so you don't want to constantly be pointing out the negatives when there are also positives. Usually, the less aggressive partner in the relationship is the one who feels overwhelmed because they're always trying to disarm or defuse the situation by talking in a quieter voice but then just getting flooded by their partner's aggressive emotions.
Body Language
No matter who it is, you will instinctively prepare yourself for negativity if you see someone coming at you with negative body language. So, when your partner is always crossing their hands, putting their hands on their hips, pointing their fingers, or generally having dramatic body language, this is a sign that your relationship is going downhill. Body language is a greater indicator than words and takes up the majority of communication. Always be mindful of your physical communication and try to adopt a gentler, calmer body language.
Failed Repair Attempts
If you're genuinely trying to repair your relationship by apologizing or attempting to fix issues but your partner refuses to accept it, this is a bad sign on their part. It is not your place to not forgive. We forgive because we are forgiven. So, don't be hurt consistently, but you have to have space for forgiveness in new areas. In a relationship, depending on what the offence is, certain things are dealbreakers for certain people that they can't move on from.
Bad Memories
When talking about memories, good relationships learn and grow stronger from them, even if it means finding the good in bad memories. However, if you can only find negativity in either good or bad memories, then this is a sign that you're on the road to divorce. You married your spouse for positive reasons, but if you can no longer remember them, then it's a bad indicator for your relationship.
