You Can Keep Your Fake Apology!
What is A Fake Apology?
A fake apology is when someone says they're sorry in a way that sounds insincere, sarcastic, deadpan, or just false in general. Oftentimes, people give fake apologies just to end an argument, but the person isn't remorseful at all. A fake apology can also act as a way to turn it around on you as if you're causing the issue instead of them. This can sound like:
"I'm sorry that you felt like I hurt your feelings." "I'm sorry that you couldn't handle what I had to say." "Sorry, I was just kidding. No need to be so sensitive."
These types of responses are used to minimize your feelings. They're simply trying to fix the situation even though they meant what they said.
A fake apology can also come in the form of action, where a person says they're sorry for doing or saying something but then continue repeating it. This is often seen in relationships with infidelity. When a partner is caught in an affair, it's very common for them to apologize and try to fix their relationship, only to cheat again.
When a person is sorry, there should be a grieving process where they feel terrible about what happened. Being sorry should also come with a corresponding action that's different than the one that caused the issue in the first place. You should not apologize if you're not ready to change.
Why Should You Never Give a Fake Apology?
You Come Across As a Liar
If you're not being sincere about what you're saying, you're lying. When you lie, it begets another lie, which begets another lie. Over time, it erodes trust in your relationship.
You're Hurting Your Communication
If you're always giving fake apologies, your partner will never know when you're being sincere and real. If you're saying something that's unpleasant to hear but needs to be said, then be straightforward about it and don't apologize just to re-establish peace. A true apology comes with change, so if you apologize and it's not followed through, your partner won't believe that the apology was heartfelt.
It Breaks Down Trust In Your Relationship
Trust is one of the foundational pillars of every relationship, so if your partner can't trust you to be sincere then they won't trust you in other things as well. If you don't feel like apologizing or aren't being sincere with it, then it's better not to apologize and instead try to work things out a different way. Offering a fake apology will only risk hurting your relationship more.
Conclusion
There will always be situations where you said or did something without any negative intention behind it, but you might feel forced to give an apology you don't mean because it didn't go the way you thought it would and your partner took it the wrong way. People will see things differently than you but in those situations, you should sincerely communicate to them what your intentions were. If you're being honest about it and you're in a healthy relationship, your partner should be able to receive it well and know that you didn't mean to hurt them on purpose. In a relationship with mistrust or other issues, it might be hard for your partner to accept that you really weren't trying to hurt them, but it's still better to be honest than insincere.
